Empathy – the core of earth from which life sprouts…

In an English class where I was teaching words often confused I asked my students to differentiate Sympathy and Empathy. Some said both are same while the others gave me the answer: “feeling for someone is sympathy and feeling with someone is empathy”. I was really convinced in the beginning. I prolonged the discussion for a longer period since I thought what is more important is to inculcate the feeling than teach them the word. I was disappointed when they failed to give examples for empathy and explain it in a situation.

At the end of the discussion I was dawned to the fact that our youngsters very rarely understand the sufferings of others that they are not able to say much on this topic. We feel pity or sorrow for the other person. We most often use phrases like “Oh! I am very sorry” and “If there is anything I can do to help…” Just by saying this or by extending some little help we think that we have done our duty.  We fail to feel how others feel, to see the world as they do. To put it otherwise, we sympathize but do not empathize. The feeling of sympathy emerges from the recognition that another person is suffering. Whereas, the feeling of empathy emerges from where the other person's pain or suffering is felt. 

Walt Whitman, an American poet wrote:

“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.” 

When we see someone in pain and feel that response in our own gut, that’s empathy. When we see someone crying tears of joy at an important reunion and notice ourselves choking up, that’s empathy. When we see someone struggling with a problem and feel an emotional pull to help, that’s empathy.

Mahatma Gandhi said:

“I call him religious who understands the suffering of others.”

A person who understands the sufferings of others can alone become empathetic and extend a helping hand. Empathy is the most important “pro-social” behavior which build close relationships and development of strong communities. People higher in empathy are more likely to help others in need.

 I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit - the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes; to see the world through the eyes of those who are different from us - the child who's hungry, the steelworker who's been laid off, the family who lost the entire life they built together when the storm came to town. When you think like this, when you choose to broaden your ambit of concern and empathise with the plight of others, whether they are close friends or distant strangers; it becomes harder not to act; harder not to help. – Barak Obama.

As the famous British poet P. B. Shelley puts it:

 A man, to be greatly good, must imagine intensely and comprehensively; he must put himself in the place of another and of many others; the pains and pleasure of his species must become his own.

An empathic person can be compassionate and helpful and being empathic means simply that you are able to relate to how other people are feeling.